2011

The year 2011 has changed my life in more ways than I could ever express. It has been quite a roller coaster ride to say the least.

I brought in the new year with no real goals in mind. I was set on enjoying life, and being young while I still had the chance. I was doing things that I'm not necessarily proud of.. I wasn't taking school as seriously as I should, I was most likely hanging out with the wrong crowd of people, and I was doing what every college student is "supposed to do" drinking and partying. Where did this get me? Nowhere worth even mentioning. I definitely spent a lot of time veering off the right path. 

Consider it about midway through the year now, it's summer. I've got no worries and no school, just working and hanging out with friends. At this point I had slowed down quite a bit- still drinking and partying, but not nearly as much as I was before. In my mind I was just being a normal college student. It always just seemed like the thing to do. No worries, right? I told myself I was young and had my whole life to be responsible. Once again, enjoy being young.

At the end of September/early October I started to not feel quite complete. Something always seemed to be missing from my life. I had the best friends, an amazing family, a good job, and decent enough grades, but something was just missing. A boy maybe? More excitement in my life? I wasn't quite sure. 

Well then it sorta hit me. Umm hello Chelsea!? God. God was truly missing from my life. Sure, I have always been a Christian and believed in God but I wasn't really living fully for Him. At this point, I called the one person I knew I could always count on no matter what (you know who you are). She talked to me on the phone for hours about strengthening my relationship with God and becoming the best me that I could possibly be. [this was my first 2011 life changing moment]

Less than a week later I was hospitalized. Heart problems. It was a whirlwind of emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. What 19 year old has to have her heart stopped? This was the question I kept asking myself. I was scared, confused, and upset. I will never forget laying in that hospital bed sobbing uncontrollably. The craziest part of it all? My tears of fear quickly turned into tears of joy. I had lived. My heart stopped beating, and yet I lived. It was the most life changing moment of my life. God has greater plans for my life. This reaffirmed my faith and made it stronger than it's honestly ever been.

Since that day I have vowed to share God's love to the best of my abilities. I strive to show His love everyday in everything that I do. For the first time in my life, I am honestly proud of myself wholeheartedly and of the things I'm doing. I thank God everyday for blessing me with such a wonderful life.

Most people my age view their life as a long road they've got ahead of them. Like there is no need to be overly concerned with living on the right path or doing the right things. Well, I'm living proof to say that's not true. You're life could be over at ANY time. Literally. I don't say that to scare anyone, just speaking a bit of honesty.  

I'm starting 2012 with this challenge to myself: I want to become a better me. I want to strengthen my relationship with Christ. I want to share His love in as many ways as I possibly can. I want to be a beacon and a role model for all those around me. I want to be a better friend, better family member, and a better overall person. Oh of course I wan't to workout more.. isn't that everyone's New Year's Resolution? =P

I challenge you to do the same. Ask yourself this everyday.. 

Am I modeling the love of Christ? Do my motivations and actions in this relationship reflect the perfect love God has shown me? 

Deuteronomy 31:6 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. 

the little things.

Welllllllllp it's been over a week since my last blog so here goes.

These past days have been more than amazing!! I've been reunited with some old friends and have had loooots of quality family time. These are both small reminders of how great God's timing is. He is showing me more and more everyday how incredibly blessed I am in life.

I'm not sure if they will even read this but here goes..

Mom: You are my rock!! You absolutely mean the world to me and I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. You teach me how to be a strong Christian woman and how to depend on my faith when it seems like everything is falling apart. You've taught me how to be the best person I can possibly be and I am more than grateful. Whether I need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to laugh with, you always know what to do. I hope I am half the mom you are.

Seester: Words cannot describe how much I love you. I can't help but cry writing this because we've been through so much together. Growing up you were everything I always wanted to be and I look up to you tremendously. Thank you for being the best big sister a girl could ask for. You've taught me so many things in life and helped guide me to where I am today. You are my sister, confidant, BFF, and partner in crime. Without you, I'd probably go crazy. I love you to the moon and back. #staytougharkansas

To my friends.. there are waaaay too many of you to write individually so let me just leave it at this.. you are how I make it through each and every day. Your love and support for all of my decisions help me to grow and have faith in myself and my choices. I would be lost without each and every one of you.

Each day I wake up grateful. You never know how blessed you are until you think you could lose it all.. Life is a precious gift, so cherish it! Give glory to God for all He has done for you. Live life to the fullest and never regret, never doubt, and always love. Pay attention to the little things, for one day they might be gone and you'll have missed out..

Mark 11:25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

changing the world.. one person at a time.

Today I watched a movie entitled The Crash. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.

Have you ever thought about how you look to others? How do you personally perceive people? Do you judge based on color or accent? Most of us would like to answer no to this question.. but honestly take a minute and think about it.

When you walk past a group of black men do you clutch your purse a little tighter unintentionally? When you see someone of Arab decent do you assume terrorist? These are thoughts that seem to be ever-present in our society.

This fact is greatly disturbing. It is a facet of life I'd like to see disappear. Please take a minute to think about how you treat others. Are you living a life that would please God? Do your actions act in a honorable manner? Would you consider yourself a role model and be okay with the idea of a younger generation looking up to the things you do?

It is up to us to be the change we so desperately want to see in the world.

Matthew 10:32
Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.

Philippians 1:27
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel.

Your life is a story.. Make it one worth reading.

things just might be looking up?

Feeling overwhelmingly blessed today. 

For the first time in awhile I feel like everything is going to be okay. I laid down my worries last night and left everything up to God. 

As of today my spring school schedule will be complete and I got accepted to UNT! Woop, Woop! 

I had a heart to heart with an old friend, and she helped me realize everything will be alright. It's one of those days where I have so much running through my mind but don't know quite how to put it all down.. so I guess that's it for now. 

My inspiration for the day: Proverbs 31:8-9 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy. 

life.

Some insight to my life..

I feel like these things really needed to be said.

All of my life I have been nothing but a people pleaser. I would go above and beyond to try and make people happy.Welllllp guess what? I'm done. I'm tired of being there for my "friends" who could honestly care less. True friends will be here for you no matter what, rain or shine. I've had to learn that the hard way lately. People who I honestly thought cared about me have let me down in the greatest way possible. At the end of the day, I'm at peace with it. People grow apart and change.. that's life. Life just sucks sometimes ya know..

I guess you could say I've been going through a rough patch lately. Heart problems, hospital, cardiologists, wrecking my car, tests, tests, and more tests. It's a tad overwhelming at times. However, this past month has been a learning experience no doubt. I'm discovering new things about myself I didn't even know existed. I'm bettering my relationship with God. I'm becoming closer to my family. After you have the fear of death your whole life perspective changes. You don't take for granted all the little things you used to. You learn to honestly enjoy the little things because you never know when it could be the last time. I'm starting to live for ME. I'm taking some time to focus on myself and pursue things that make me happy. It's about time I'd say.

Although this is a positive transition for me I've definitely lost some people along the way.. it's always tough to lose those you care about but it only makes you stronger. When I started writing this I was so angry. Angry for feeling let down and deserted when I really needed support. Angry that some of you don't even care like I thought. Angry at myself for becoming close to you. At the end of the day, anger gets you nowhere. It leaves you sad and alone.. which I refuse to be. I'm done being angry.

I'm moving on, one day at a time.