Some insight to my life..
I feel like these things really needed to be said.
All of my life I have been nothing but a people pleaser. I would go above and beyond to try and make people happy.Welllllp guess what? I'm done. I'm tired of being there for my "friends" who could honestly care less. True friends will be here for you no matter what, rain or shine. I've had to learn that the hard way lately. People who I honestly thought cared about me have let me down in the greatest way possible. At the end of the day, I'm at peace with it. People grow apart and change.. that's life. Life just sucks sometimes ya know..
I guess you could say I've been going through a rough patch lately. Heart problems, hospital, cardiologists, wrecking my car, tests, tests, and more tests. It's a tad overwhelming at times. However, this past month has been a learning experience no doubt. I'm discovering new things about myself I didn't even know existed. I'm bettering my relationship with God. I'm becoming closer to my family. After you have the fear of death your whole life perspective changes. You don't take for granted all the little things you used to. You learn to honestly enjoy the little things because you never know when it could be the last time. I'm starting to live for ME. I'm taking some time to focus on myself and pursue things that make me happy. It's about time I'd say.
Although this is a positive transition for me I've definitely lost some people along the way.. it's always tough to lose those you care about but it only makes you stronger. When I started writing this I was so angry. Angry for feeling let down and deserted when I really needed support. Angry that some of you don't even care like I thought. Angry at myself for becoming close to you. At the end of the day, anger gets you nowhere. It leaves you sad and alone.. which I refuse to be. I'm done being angry.
I'm moving on, one day at a time.
